On Bullying and Bail Bonding Part Two

Part Two: As explained in the prior post about bullying, there was a time when I did have to bond out my neighbor who attempted to combat the bullying his autistic child had gone through. I’ll begin with what I witnessed and progress through the day from there.

Bullying and Bonding often Go Hand in Hand When You Listen to an Old Convict

My neighbor’s 11 year old son was diagnosed on the autism spectrum some time ago. He is a great kid, very mild, shy and just one of those kids you wouldn’t think had autism, just a quiet kid. Talking with my neighbor in my yard one day I see his son come down the street, crying. He is an emotional child and I was told that is simply one of the symptoms of autism. But of course when any child is crying you don’t see autism, you see a child who is hurting in some way.

I tried not to be nosy or interfere, but being in the middle of my yard it was tough not to stand by and not try to comfort the little guy. Apparently, my neighbors son was on the bus coming home when a larger kid, same grade and age, told him to get up and move. The boy didn’t process this well as most children with autism do have problems with social situations and picking up on social cues. My neighbors son is no exception. When he would not get up, not for fear of getting pummeled, but because he simply didn’t understand what was going on and what was demanded of him.

So he doesn’t leave the seat as the bigger boy had demanded. The bigger boy then sat next to him and began to punch him in the stomach and legs. All the while calling him a “pussy” and “a little bitch”. From what one of the smaller girls on the same bus had said, was that the bigger boy had my neighbors son pinned into the seat hitting him and shouting bad words into his ear.

Luckily the bus driver witnessed this and reported it to the school that evening. A report followed and she is to be commended for taking a stand and doing more than her job when she informed my neighbor what he needed to do (paperwork wise), and also helped in having the bully removed from that bus line.

A few weeks later, talking on the back deck with my neighbor about what had happened, I discovered there was now a problem in the school as the bully was now picking on his son in the halls and in the cafeteria. I didn’t ask what he was doing, but as one who used to get bullied I could only imagine.

Maybe it was the beer talking, or out of whack logic, but… I made the mistake of telling my neighbor the only way to stop the bully was maybe to show him what bullying really was by beating the shit out of his own father in front of him. Maybe it was not only the beer talking but also the feelings rushing back up. The feelings of being belittled, hit, smacked and things thrown on you. So I followed up my comment with, “You should just go to his house, snatch up the father and beat his ass in the front yard. And do it everyday so his son gets the hint.” Bad idea.

A little info on my neighbor. He stands about my height, 6’3″ and is a beefy guy, not fat – beefy; a true mesomorph. I certainly wouldn’t fuck with him on even my best day and glad we’re friends. So…

A meeting was held between both parents at school with a mediator and the principal present. Whereupon, the bullies father made a really ignorant statement, out loud; that, “They shouldn’t let retards in public schools and they wouldn’t get bullied.” My neighbor apparently didn’t agree and possibly with the idea of smashing the bullies father, took my drunken spiel about bullies dads to heart and snatched the man up and touched just about every wall with that man’s body causing not only an ambulance to show up but several police officers who had a hell of a time controlling my neighbor.

So at 3pm I am in my den writing an excerpt to some other work when I get the phone call from my neighbor asking me to bail him out. With no questions asked I contacted a bail bondsmen buddy of mine in the city and told him to go bail out my neighbor, and that I would meet him at the station with cash. Its always good to know a bondsmen by the way. You just never know when their talents are needed.

My neighbor came out of holding, thanked the bondsmen and we walked silently to my car. It was on the ride home I apologized for giving him misleading information on what to do and he broke down crying. He didn’t want to hurt the guy and really don’t know where it all came from. Maybe it was the ever knowing feeling his son would soon be bullied again and not realize it. Maybe it was the culmination of feelings he had repressed and the thought of caring for his son, and that what we deem a “normal” life will not happen for his boy. I don’t know. But I do know he was sorry he had hurt the guy and was doubly sorry for thinking he let his family down.

Sometimes the courts work in mysterious ways.

I let him know that in no uncertain terms was it his fault and that often people are pushed to the edge and when provoked, shit does happen. All said and done once the prosecutor discovered the cause of action he was simply issued probation and was ordered to attend anger management classes (which he didn’t need but I am speculating that the prosecutor had to do something else to make it look good).

I can tell you this, my neighbor’s son does not get bullied and that he has gained a few friends in his class and is back to being the happy little guy we know and admire. My neighbor has since come off paper and is free to roam. So, what does all this have to do with bonding? Not much really, except that when you need a bondsmen, they are their for you 24/7 regardless of your charges. And as for bullying, it will always be around, just don’t take my advice on how to handle it.